Love

That’s when it all started one day my cozns were all going out to the beauty parlour.I asked them a 1000 times if I could go with them so that I could buy few things, but they asked me to stay home because aunty was alone and give her company within 15 minutes my sisters left and I sat infront of computer suddenly.Priya: (Shouting) mone (Malayalam of ‘Beta’ or son )what are you doing? Come here I usually call my mom and aunty both as ‘ amma’, because I love her as much as I love my mom.Me: coming amma.I went to the kitchen.Priya: Sit here in the kitchen, lets talk something while I sc**** the coconut.For scr****g she was sitting on the floor and bending.Me: Yes amma. Why not?Priya: Tell me, how is your vacation?Me: Enjoying it to the end amma.Priya: I’m going out today afternoon do you want to come with me?Me: Yes, amma.What time is we leaving?Priya: Within 15 minutes, I’m stopping all the work. I’ll go change my dress and come.As soon as she tried to get off the floor she got a. That's one of my big fantasies at night, to imagineI'll wake up as a girl and just have a normal day as one. I just dowhatever I would normally be doing, except I'm female. Then the guilthits, and I try and beat back the fantasy. I'm so tired of thisstruggle.******I know I don't write a lot about school, its cause I really don't have alot to say. It just IS, you know? I'm mostly ignored here, and that'sjust fine with me. Much less chance of somebody figuring out I'm notlike other boys.****My brother got a package from home today. It was a cassette tape from afriend of his. He let me listen, his friend seems pretty cool. John madea tape to send back, and I had to say "hi" on it, I don't know why. Iadmire my brother a lot, he's turning into a good man. But that also istaking him further away from me, since I am not a good man. Most days, Idon't feel like a man at all.*****I've been dreaming about HER a lot. Sometimes, when I'm getting dressed,I almost see her in the mirror. I don't.
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