Beside the bed, Wendy knelt on the floor, naked save the silver collar with its tiger-eye stone at her throat. Her knees were shoulder width apart, her hands clasped behind her back and her mouth slight open as she stared straight ahead.I hated this.No, not hated. I loved Wendy, but when she went into this ultra-submissive state, it was almost more than I could handle. It was such an open, unconditional willingness to please me in any way she could that it made me feel unworthy. It didn’t happen often, but it always gave me chills when she simply waited on her knees for me.I’d even gone with Wendy to one of her therapy sessions and with her permission had seen her therapist, Sheila Garvey, a few times, by myself. It had helped me understand that Wendy simply needed to surrender her will on occasion and let someone else be completely responsible for her. It allowed her mind to purge itself of emotions, memories, and responsibility that threatened all the time to overwhelm her. I. I turned the aircondown and opened the windows to let some of the afternoon heat into theroom. "Sit up." I said.She sat, leaning against the bed and wrapping her arms around herself. Isat down next to her. "Why, Mary?"She sniffed, rubbing her tears away with the back of one hand. "It's verycomplicated," she said, voice barely above a whisper. I was silent and shetook a deep shuddering breath before going on. "It's my father. He was inthe service all his life. He was pretty mixed up, I suppose. A Catholicfrom Derry, the Bogside. Married an English girl, joined Her Majesty'sservice. What a mess of confusion for a boy from the bogs..."She stopped for a while, looking out at the blue sky."He was one of the first into Baghdad during the Gulf conflict back in thenineties. I was four, almost five and my ma wouldn't tell me where my dawas. But he was part of a covert cell in Saddam's fortress city sendingback targeting telemetry for the cruise attacks. That was where he and hisgroup were.
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