”—Octavia E. Butler, Parable of the SowerEM FOUND ME in the library when the last bell rang and said it was time to go. Francie was tagging along behind her and grinned at me. Since lunch, I’d been sitting at the carrel mostly reading. My computer was online through the school WiFi but it had a whole bunch of restrictions regarding what kind of websites you could look at. I wasn’t going to be reading any porn here. Not that I intended to, but I had to check. I had been looking up certain supplies I wanted, though.“Hey, Em. Could we stop by the mall on the way home? There’s a couple things I need for school.”“Really?” She turned to look at Francie and they high-fived. “Shopping!” I guess it’s still a national pastime. At least for women. I was afraid they’d be pretty disappointed that I wanted to go to the bookstore.“Thanks for this,” Francie whispered in my ear. “I was trying to figure out how to tell you I couldn’t have sex today.”“We don’t have to have sex every day, Francie.”“I. I hated myself for treating Spencer the way that I did but I was mad at him for forcing me out of my comfort zone and then touching me. I hadn’t let any guy touch me since I was eighteen and that night with Tommy Hassel. It was too painful. I was too dirty. By the time I got back to my apartment Spencer had called me about three times on my mobile and twice on the home phone. I didn’t answer any of his calls or listen to any of his messages. Instead I changed into a pair of pj bottoms and a t-shirt before curling up in bed and crying myself to sleep, trying to fight all the painful memories that Spencer’s seemingly innocent touch brought back. I woke up about two after a vivid nightmare. I was just lying staring at the ceiling, wondering if I should go and watch TV to distract myself for a few hours when I got another text message. I knew it was Spencer and I felt alone enough to want to talk to him, so I opened and read the message. ‘Please just tell me you got home safely. I’m.
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