" Hello there." Malfoy said with a smile. "I hear you've been unlucky enough to be stuck living with such a disgrace to the wizard world was the Weasley's. I hope you end up in my house so you can see what it means to be a real wizard." Oh, brother," Holly thought to herself as the carriages pulled to a halt near the stone steps of the castle. Holly almost made the mistake when walking down to the Great Hall of sitting down at the Gryffindor house table. A nudge in the side from Hermione made sure she straightened back up and waited."Welcome back." Professor Dumbledore said as he stood up before the students at the head table. "Before Professor McGonagall brings in the first years to sort out, I'd like to ask Holly to step up so that our young transfer can be properly settled in."Holly swallowed hard as she glanced at her friends and moved to the little stool in front of everyone. She felt even more nervous this time than before. As the hat was placed on her head, she heard its' voice. She’s telling him to go milk the cow and he’s telling her to go fuck herself!”An out of work actor gets a call from his agent one day. “I’ve got you a job” says the agent. “That’s great!” says the actor “What is it?” “Well” says the agent “it’s a one-liner” “That’s okay” replies the actor “I’ve been out of work for so long I’ll take anything. What’s the line?” “Hark I hear the cannons roar” says the agent. “Hark I hear the cannons roar?” the actor questions. “Yes, Hark I hear the cannons roar” confirms the agent. “I love it” says the actor “When’s the audition?” “Wednesday” says the agent.Wednesday comes and the actor arrives at the audition. He marches on stage and shouts: “Hark I hear the cannons roar!” “Brilliant” says the director “You’ve got the job. Be here 9 o’clock tomorrow evening”.The actor is so ecstatic he got the job that he leaves and heads straight to his favourite pub and goes on a major bender. One thing leads to another and next thing he knows its 8.30pm the next.
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