When we’redating that special someone, praise is a wonderful tool. It’s agreat way to evoke a smile, a word of thanks, or perhaps even akiss. We use praise to hint our feelings toward that person by saying“I love this about you” or “I love that about you”. And because ofthe smile it often evokes, we freely point out our mate’s beauties,skills, or whatever qualities we admire in them. They smile, loveus for our admiration, and often return a like sentiment.As the relationship progresses, however, we tend to withdrawfrom praising our partner and she or he withdraw from praisingus. Offering praise becomes similar to giving part of ourselvesaway: a silent forfeiture of power. It fosters feelings of inadequacybecause giving praise somehow makes us feel like “less” and theother person like “more”. Beyond that, the lack of received praisebegins to gnaw at our own self-worth. We start second-guessingwhether our partner still admires the traits she or he once freelyapplauded. We vow not to. ”Marcia smiled slyly, “He leads with his left when he attacks; he leads with his right when he feints. Always. I saw his earlier match.”I chuckled, “Then you have him.”And she did. She’d found his ‘tell’ and easily beat him 3-0 simply by taking advantage of it. She was all smiles when she came off the mat.“VERY well done!” I said. “Let me go shake hands with Sensei Ichirou and then we’ll get some lunch.”I walked around the mat and bowed to Sensei Ichirou, who returned the bow. I extended my hand and he took it.“Your student is well trained, Steve-san. I’m not surprised. Congratulations.”“Thank you.”We bowed again, and I went back to Marcia. We walked over to where her mom and friends were waiting, then headed to Greek Town in two cars. I had Marcia, Jeannette, and Marie in my car, while Mrs. Ingles had Angie and Melody with her.“That was SO cool!” Jeannette gushed. “You beat that last guy so easily!”“Only because he made a mistake,” Marcia said. “He always did the same things with his.
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