Now, I hide my journal, unwilling to share and guarding my feelings jealously, wishing I could simply slip away and return to my alien lover and revel in the freedom of showing my true self, the self that he helped me discover, the self that I suspect the others would not understand. Oh, the cravings I now feel, that I suspect have been buried deep within me, pull at me with a yearning that is almost painful. After the first time he took and ravished me, I felt strangely linked, as if he could sense the taboo desires within my breast that, once awakened could not, cannot, be put to rest again! I find myself wishing, when I make love to my sweet Emma or with James or, especially, Bull, that they would treat me roughly and take me by force…At night, I have waking dreams, recalling of the feel of Isshu’s tentacles wound around my limbs, pinning me helplessly as he plunged his phallus into my pussy or my bottom, my cries echoing through the chamber. Of me writhing as the mouth-like. Emily must have sensed my thinking, interrupting the silence bycontinuing:"Don't feel sorry for me Katie. I've had a happy, full life. And everyso often, I'll see a former student of mine who will tell me how much sheenjoyed my teaching, or how I helped her find her way in life. You neverknow dear." I guess," I said in agreement, adding quickly. "You seem very happy,Emily, and right now you're the best friend I have in this town."By then the pies were done and we removed them from the oven, the smellof cooked crust wafting through the carpeting and ancient woodwork of her100-year-old house. "Emily, sometimes I feel the boys are there only to look at me. They'reeyeing me all the time." Well, Katie, you're about the prettiest sight there is to see in thistown. Certainly, you're the best looking teacher there."I blushed with that; I had become a terribly vain women, always soakingup praises to my beauty. In a sense, I could dress far more plainly andprobably not attract so much.
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