... my god.... the raven?" She burst into tears and he grabbed her slender wrists and forced them away from her face."Yes, the raven. I'll make sure he comes to you. A few pecks from his beak and you'll be in another world like I always promised you. There'll be a lot of ravens and crows and other vermin besides... the smell of raw flesh brings them. But you will know the one I send." Your... raven...." Yes, my raven, pretty girl. So. What say you, Maria? A deal? You'll be sweet to me when you're hoisted?"She was going to tell him something, anything to hurt him and to deny him what he saw as pleasure, but habits of obedience held her back. She nodded her head gravely. She didn't know what it would be like - she had no idea of knowing - but she had dimly understood all her life that the bite of a raven would bring her to a long-desired close. She could not afford to let that slim chance go. She nodded her head, heart thudding.He patted her cheek. "You're a nice girl, Maria. I have. Of the three of us, I like you." I don't understand," I said. "You're beautiful and intelligent. You seem to like your work and it makes you financially comfortable." I don't know either. Maybe I'm just not happy. It's like I'm with these people and I get these thoughts. I realize how weak they are and I attack. I want to be better than them, smarter, cleverer, and I am. Except a moment later I realize I'm not. They're nice and I'm not. You're nice. Nice is weak. It makes them vulnerable. But I'm the weakling. I'm the dummy. The way they look at me—the way you looked at me when I said ... whatever I said—it's like the country girl unable to adjust to big city conventions stopping conversations on a dime. I make people uncomfortable and worse. I make them hate me. But I like being clever." What you need is a good friend," I said. "The problem is the person either has to realize it's a game at the beginning or you need to find restraint. A friend enjoys teasing and being put in his.
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