Then why do you keep asking if I did something to you?’ ‘I think – I think that I want to give you more. Not in the day-to-day, but in our sex life. I think that I want to surrender, but I’m asking permission. I don’t know if it’s from you or from something in me.’ ‘Do you like it when I control you?’ ‘Yes! I like when you tell me what you want, and when I can take pleasure by giving it to you. It makes me hot to think about getting you off. I think about it a lot.’ ‘Okay. Good. Are you getting hot right now?’ She licked her lips. ‘Yes.’ ‘What do you think about your sister Nicole?’ ‘Nikki? She’s my sister. I love her.’ ‘She’s pretty sexy.’ ‘I guess. I haven’t really thought about it before.’ ‘Think about it. Next time you look at her, look at her as a woman first and your sister second.’ ‘I will.’ ‘Okay, Stephanie. In a moment I’m going to count to three, and I want you to wake up and you’ll feel refreshed and ready to go back home.’ ‘Yes.’ I counted and her expression and. I should have known that he is too much of a man to fall for that. Shame on me.I guess this is it. I blew it. And then I fucked up again. I have to accept it. Gather the shards of my broken life and try to glue them together. If I'm lucky the new life might give me some shelter. For me and the damn child. It will be hard, though, with all the missing parts.Like, where does one find a roof?I have been living with my parents, these past few days. They live in Brooklyn in a big rambling old house. There's room enough, even with the baby. But I can't stay there. I can't be their little daughter again. They try so very hard to make it easy for me. But I can't.I am an asshole, not a sweet daughter.I can't go to Mary, either. It would be too painful, even though she does not know about me and her husband. It might even be less painful if she did.Which brought me to the question I had not asked myself until now. Strange that I had not. It was the question how Eric could know? Only Phil and I.
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