"His face fell as he feared she really wanted to go, but she was hastening on."No, don't look like that Ged. There's nothing I want more than to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you so much and always have. But there's something not quite right, and I don't know what it is. I just have this feeling that if I commit totally there will be tears and something worse than what we've already been through." So you're going to move out? Finish us?" No!' she reacted strongly. "If you want me to stay with you, I will. I really do want to. I've never been as happy as I have been over the past few weeks. All I'm saying is that until I can feel free to make this permanent..." We stay together, but remaining free to leave, you mean?" We stay until this feeling in me is put to rest. I think time will sort it out. I think the feeling is that there may come a moment when you want me to go, not that I will want to go, do you understand?" I can't see how that can be," he said, despondently,. I was attacked my first night in jail, only a few days after Suzy was attacked. I managed to fight them off and spent most of my time in solitary. My first night in real prison my cellmate tried to rape me. I anticipated it and hit him with a bar of soap I’d rolled up in a sock. It knocked three of his teeth out and broke his nose.“When he came back from the infirmary I choked him unconscious and tied him to the bars of the cell. I got stabbed in the shower for that one. Wanna see the scar? I can count at least a dozen serious attempted rapes I’ve fought off. So if you use that to excuse her actions, I guess I can use the same to justify mine.“You might think I’m unfeeling or uncaring. You might be right. The simple fact is that I don’t care. I’m looking out for me. I’m the only one who will. That’s a fact you can’t dispute. If you want to save all the strays in the world, that’s your business. I won’t tell you how to live your life if you don’t tell me how to live mine. I would be.
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