I told her I always loved her long hair. She told me she was a modern woman and that long hair wasn’t fashionable.She didn’t want to go to the townhouse. She said there was too many memories there. We spent several days at a downtown hotel. We went to movies and a play. She wanted to visit some clubs in the East Village. We avoided politics and I thought that the reunion was special.We continued to meet this way for the next several years. Her senior year, she told me she was seeing a guy. We had made love and where sharing a cigarette. She put it out in the ashtray. She told me she was in love with this guy. He was smart and wonderful. He had a very promising future. He knew about her past, just not all of it.She said she needed to stop seeing me. It wasn’t fair to him.I became angry. I still felt possessive of her. I told her she wasn’t cut out to be an American wife. I asked her if he really knew what she needed?She became angry. “What? I am supposed to be someone’s mistress or be. She said that's ok Jilly I'm sorry honest;I guess there's a reason why you're wearing them, and honestly, I didn'tmean to get you all upset by asking?I think that's when Sarah saw me start to hug my doll real tight, and sheknew I was really upset. So she tried to change the subject real fast byasking a different question.Jack, I mean Jilly, is that dolly really yours?Great this was definitely not going my way at all, because now I have toexplain to the cutest girl in my class, why I am holding on to a doll,really tight, and that yes, it really is mine, and not my sistersI told her, through the tears, and with a defensive voice, YES, she'smine, WHY?Sarah then said, oh because I think she looks so cute, just like hermommy.Great I didn't need to hear that statement either. I mean gees being toldmy doll looked cute, I guess is okay. But to be told that her mommy lookscute too, by the girl you have a crush on. That kind of made me feelreally weird, and I think Sarah realized this, as.
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