And from there?well, then I was working bar on Fridays, and before longmanaging the place, too. I wasn't really alive, not in the way thepeople around me seemed to be. Everything I did was purely mechanical.I didn't go out, didn't speak much and didn't make many friends. Ispent my free time alone, working out and thinking empty, circularthoughts, reliving memories best forgotten.God, I hated them back then, all those happy people: the loving couplessitting by candlelight in the restaurant, drinking wine and talkingquietly, the girl's hand resting softly in his... the friends whoflooded the club and danced with abandon and touched each other andsweated and cried out to the music... and I worked behind the barmixing their drinks.Could things have gone on like that?Where would I be now if they had?I certainly wouldn't be sitting behind this desk two weeks into a newjob, wearing a pleated skirt that kept creeping up my goddamn thigh."Cindy, can you get me John Weber on the line,. And having so many people here only reminded me of the ones missing: Samantha and Susan, for starters. Harry, who had been invited but had to work. Annabelle, my former secretary whom I didn’t see nearly enough of now that I lived abroad. I found myself hesitating to close the door, staring at the corner in the hopes of seeing Susan’s Volvo pull up. But they hadn’t even been invited, because Samantha has a crush on me and that means I can’t see her anymore. More than a crush, really. Poor thing... “You okay?” asked Kate, who’d come to find me.“Yes, coming,” I said, closing the door. She blocked my way to the garden.“Looking for Sammy?” she guessed.“No. Just making sure Peter didn’t block anyone in.”“Sure. Lie to me. That always works.”“Kate, be nice.”She stood on her toes, put her arms around my neck, hoisted herself up the last few centimetres and kissed me.“I will. I just want to see you happy.”“I am happy. Let’s have cake.”We had a lovely morning in the garden. I had to put a.
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