Is this life one big lie? Cheryl seemed to be one big lie. Maybe this is one big game? And we ultimately find the right woman after a long time, after an eternity. Differing planes of reality. Eliminate the hatred, the war, the paranoia. Introduce love as a concept. And perhaps I’m paranoid, afraid of violence at every turn, yet that mugger who choked me in the Commons did so in a paternal way. He wanted me to be okay. Cheryl mugged me tonight. She hit me, and I got all upset and almost thought about leaving this drug den. I never thought I’d sink so low.A party in Hell before it’s all over. But how far do I want to go? All the way to hell? All or none. Or maybe a little. I can take this all. Before it didn’t make sense. Now it’s starting to: imaginary friends, different planes of reality, different drugs, different prescription drugs. All these drugs to carry us on up, yet Am I ready to die, now that I have bitched about life so much? Be patient. My end is near. Suddenly death scares. Cows, and horses, and oil, and cowboy's were the stereotypical assumptions that that was all there was to Texas.Not true—we had modern shit, lol. We had theaters, and plays, and opra's, and parades, and 4th of July just like the rest of the country—and indoor plumbing ! But I guess the first thing that comes to most peoples mind when you say Texas---is the cowboy. Tall, mean, muscled up man.So mostly, deep down at heart, I was the typical modern day urban punk. But, with that being said—I mean, I DID have a pair of cowboy boots—even a hat ! No self respecting male in the state of Texas would ever allow himself to be 'outed' as one that did not have at least one pair of boots ! Being a skateboarder at heart, for me it was typically kicks—the PF Flyer for a long time, and board shorts, and usually no shirt. For me—cowboy was 'dress up'--something I usually just did on special occasions or 'just in that mood' If you recall back at chapter one I commented that the 4th was just a few.
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